You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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