Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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