i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
