wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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