Say something about gay babies.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
