You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
