i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Randomize
