if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would fuck him just for his dog
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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