he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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