i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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