actually, I'm a sock model
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
