I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
