And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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