you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
