i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
