im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
