Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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