I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
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