Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
