Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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