bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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