i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
