I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
