so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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