You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
