I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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