i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
