i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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