I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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