eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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