yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
