so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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