he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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