is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
