Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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