Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
