did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
