yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
