3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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