Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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(863): View more from Florida

Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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(630): View more from Illinois

There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"

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(503): View more from Oregon

Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?

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