My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.