It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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