found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.