Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i already hear my dad disowning me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia