the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
