You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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