so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i need to put some appletini on your dick
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
