I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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