ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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