oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just found a bag of teeth...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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