There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
