Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
