I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize