he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Are we still banned from the library?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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