I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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