he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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