OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
