This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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