shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
