Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
ttyl tear gas
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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