This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
