Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
