And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
