i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pants are for mortals
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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