I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
