even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
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The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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