I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
