Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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