I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
