I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
